blah blah blah

daniel o’neil (1984-2007)

rob07 — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 00:47:23 +0000

4-16-07. we lost 32, 9 from a class of mostly our grad students. one of whom was a good friend.

before i got to know dan, he was probably the last person i would want to hang out with because he doesn’t play poker nor does he drink as much as most of us do. but hardly did i know that we had a lot in common. from chuck palahniuk to damien rice, from driving aimlessly to ray lamontagne, and, of course,

the decemberists. just about two weeks ago, he and i drove a total of 500 miles just to see the decemberists and it was during this 8 hour drive that i got to know how great of a person this kid on my passenger seat was.

most of my previous encounters with dan involved him needing a ride back to his apartment or him keeping everyone from using the toilet. but in contrast to his lightweight drinking skills is his strong enthusiasm in doing the right thing. i remember how hard it was to convince him to skip

a class, to miss his consultation hour, and to pick up a vice (which he never did). he became this little brother to us, the one you want to keep away from bullies and pricks. you root for his goodness to be kept pristine, and it has and will always be.

dan, funny how i tease you about your mushy songs and cheesy lyrics, but now they are the ones that give me comfort on this awfully sad moment. the ride goes on, our trip goes on my friend. we love you dan and for sure you’ll be forever missed.

until tomorrow…

rob07 — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 01:48:48 +0000

i can’t keep up, i know. well trust me, it’s for the best. i didn’t want to bore you with my uneventful (except for that red hot chili peppers concert in charlottesville and my speeding ticket), (very) insignificant life.
so i don’t know, maybe that extra hour of sleep diminished through the daylight-saving-time switch made me realized that i haven’t posted anything here for almost three months now. i’ve always wanted to write something, but what made it difficult was making that first post of the year, that special new year’s blog bang! well, it never came. no fireworks of spectacular prose. nothing special. just this.
it’s march. yeah, the year’s first quarter is almost gone. wait, what?! no!!!
damn. why is it that time ticks faster when you’re on a deadline? let me re-state that- deadlines. no, i’m not talking about my progress report nor my visa expiration, those are being taken care of. i’m talking about that dreadful day when i could no longer say "hi, my name is rob and i’m in the late twenties". who ever said that only ladies fear the big 3-O is in denial and/or is dead at the age of 29.
the thing is, it’s not the number itself. it is the gamut of expectations that come with it. i told myself i would have visited 30 countries by the age of 30 (did i say countries or states, i can’t remember. cities perhaps?), have that tattoo before the age of 30 (roy said if you don’t have one by then you’ll never get one and yes i’m still unmarked), written a film (ngeh!), have that elusive doctorate (em.. dog u ate what?), saved my first million (spent perhaps rather than earned), lost my virginity (very funny)…

no need to panic, i still have 8 months. i could still meet those goals.
if not, then what? so what? as i’ve been told, 40 is the new 30. i could easily do 40 countries by 40, get two tattoos-make that 4, one for every decade- no big deal. written and directed films… which means millions ($$$)-piece of cake. PhD, PE, JD by 40- no sweat. and yes, i would still have beaten that 40 yr old vir-(not funny)…

well thank goodness, that for every facial line we get comes the realization that all these numbers - amount of money you’ve made, degrees you’ve earned, places you’ve been, times you’ve gotten laid, are nothing but numbers. everything is (not relative, but) nominal. otherwise, 50 would have to be the new 40,60 would be 50, etc…( i would ran out of skin by then), eternity would be the new tomorrow.

sit

rob07 — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 19:34:24 +0000

as the year comes to a close, most will say goodbye to 2006 by honoring those that passed away. eulogies will resound the halls for a man, a former president, humbled by a war he didn’t even started. some will remember 2006 for the deaths of a man who created your mom’s and your sister’s favorite tv shows, of an alligator-tamer who was your brother’s idol, and of a musician your father considers the father of soul. but will you remember this year for a young mom who went out one evening to work and provide food for her children, only to be killed by some guy who had an appettite for murder? will you reminisce and say ‘i remember 2006 for a child who battled a storm to save his younger brothers and sisters from drowning’, only to find himself in the middle of a landslide? will you take a minute and celebrate the life of a soldier, who has been scared his entire life but not at the moment he faced an enemy rescuing a compatriot?
if you don’t, i won’t blame you. i don’t even know if those stories did occur. but what we can’t make up is how mundane death is. we could only be thankful that you sit there in front of your monitor, i sit here in front of my monitor, sitting (instead of lying) upon a year that just had passed. so let’s.

black and white christmas

rob07 — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 14:06:30 +0000

so alright, christmas is best celebrated with families, hands down, and since i wasn’t able to do so, i had to make the most of my circumstances and spend my time with something worthwhile, something like…watching the bluth’s family all day.
okay, that is sad but nonetheless, i still had a ‘meaningful holiday’.
sourgraping aside, i still got some cool presents and i did pig-out, but without somebody to cheer me (chug…chug…chug…), i wasn”t able to bottom’s up that glassful of eggnog.

yet solitude is not enough to make me enlist to that ‘war against christmas’ thing. yeah, that so called battlecry that comes along with your christmas carols. hear that seasonal phrase ’secular progressive agenda’ ‘(which does kinda sound oxymoronic) and you know it’s time to light up the tree and make a wishlist. i will not delve into the politics of christmas and let somebody else do it. there are a lot of xmas conspiracy theorist out there so i’m sure you’ve already bumped into one. but hey why don’t we just leave christmas alone (sure… call it holidays, if it makes it more politically correct) for the sake of the children. i wish things were simpler like back when we were kids, when all you have to worry about is not letting your parents know that you know who the real santa is so you can still get all the gifts you wanted. sigh.

and speaking of gifts, since it took me awhile to get into that christmas spirit and to avoid a repeat of that next year, i am posting my next year’s christmas wishlist. nothing too fancy this time, just a new…

1. pair of hiking boots (because the new one i’m getting should be worn out by then)
2. set of keys (because of (3))
3. diploma (and hopefully a job that comes along with it).

keeping things simpler for all the santas out there.

a long hike

rob07 — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 22:03:13 +0000

for the past few days, i have been following the story of these three climbers lost at mt. hood, known to be missing for about two weeks now. every morning, i eagerly check the news for updates regarding this search. today it has been declared that the 9 day- rescue operation is over. sadly, the rescue team has given up. two days ago, one of the climbers was found dead and considering the extreme weather conditions, sub-freezing temperature, and very tough terrain, the other two might have suffered the same fate.

i don’t know these guys but i was optimistic that somehow they’ll survive. i was silently cheering for the rescue team. i knew the story of the 16 surviviors of the andes back in ‘72 and how they triumphed over death (something tells me though they’ve all turned vegetarian after that) and so i was hoping for the same happy ending. but then again, that was a different mountain, a different weather, a different situation.

efforts will still continue to recover whatever there is to recover and i hope that they do — for the departed’s families’ and friends’ sake, at least having that peace of mind; for the sheriff’s and his team’s sake, knowing they did whatever they can; and for my sake, realizing that life is nothing but…

Hi-Lo monday from a roller coaster weekend

rob07 — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 17:49:03 +0000

with ‘you‘ being the person of the year, what does this actually imply? have we lost the great men who are able to transform history with their position or contribution? have we lost interest and faith in them and have gone apathetic? have we came to believe that self-empowerment is the key? have we gotten self-centered and vain or rather sociable, realizing we need each other?
i don’t know. why don’t ‘you’ decide.

*****

high maintenance girlfriends are no big deal. they’re everywhere and surprisingly tolerable. but how about high maintenance friends? defined by urban dictionary as someone who requires more maintenance than their contribution to your life’s worth (ouch) or someone who is full of drama and gets pissed at friends for stupid things, etc., a HMF is someone who requires a lot of your attention, presence and involvement on his/her life. not that they’re not worth keeping, but most oftenly the relationship gets exhausting and then, unfortunately, falls apart. opposite to this type of friends are the ones that you might see often or not (not your imaginary one of course) but still instantly take off from where you left the last time you hanged out with him/her. these are those friends where you can just sit with, no dialogue necessary, and be at peace in times of trouble. no advice, no pity aka patronizing, just a simple indication of being there– sharing a scone, watching a game together, posting a comment on your blog, suggesting a funny video, etc. — no strings attached (and you thought that only applies to your last hook-up). anyway, this is my attempt of saying thanks to those friends.

both kinds.

*****

talk about HMF, just wondering how the friends of this guy feel — being part of his myspace friends. oh, and yeah, that guy is the suspect in the ipswich killings.

we wait and wait…for what?

rob07 — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 16:45:55 +0000

an epiphany.

if god was to wipe all the websites away, i will beg him to save this one,
for it is where jesus can be found…

and his real name is ray lamontagne.

one early dawn in maine, just about to face another long working day in a shoe factory, an oddball found himself waking up to stephen still’s ‘tree top flyer’ from his clock radio. that this wake-up call was to be his epiphany would have never came across the mind of this misfit from new hampshire. not to someone who rarely spoke–much less sing. yet serendipity ain’t such for nothing. after a series of quite fortunate events, ray lamontagne found himself holding a guitar, in front of a microphone, in the middle of a recording studio.

of music he says " (it’s) just a release of all that stuff inside you that’s trying to kill you…you can take things that are painful, deep things that hurt you, and you can turn them into something beautiful."

beautiful indeed, that in one peculiar night, having heard lamontagne and how he had said we get caught up in our own experiences but in fact there are billions and billions of other experiences going on; this, only moments after having seen innaritu’s babel, i find myself alone.

santa is just satan mispelled, you know

rob07 — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 20:10:23 +0000

the party season kicked off a little bit too early for me. starting with my bday-blues night out on the 27th of last month, then a dinner party on the 30th. filipino christmas party followed on the 2nd of dec. then on 7th came bluegrasss night at the cellar. on the 8th was massi’s italian dinner, 9th was winterfest then sweaterfest (way too much for a single night). 12th was poker/end of exams night (which i was able to pocket $80). today, graduation day…i’m not really up for partying, but i should, rather than spending the night eating my heart out.

man, christmas is not even here yet and i already feel bloated like a santa. (yeah, wanna sit on my lap?)

…which is not totally bad because this afternoon, staring at my stomach-showing possible symptoms of a beer belly, i got inspired to attempt and organize a local SANTACON aka SANTARCHY. depending on how many people i can convince to participate, the idea is to get together people wearing santa costume and then do a pubcrawl ala Beer Olympics. tough to pull off since most of the people i know 1)have left for the holidays, 2)have partied enough to last them ’til new year’s, meaning still drunk… and 3)are not really my friends, i just mooch from them so they probably hate me by now.

this could go down in the books if it does happen, but we’ll have to wait and see. so, to the bburg folks out there, if you haven’t been naughty enough, this is your chance. you’ll never know what ends up on your lap.

nice, like ‘i should burn in hell’ nice

rob07 — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 21:38:29 +0000

my daily morning routine usually begins with figuring out where i am, checking emails, and then catching-up with events that transpired while i was sleeping (remembering what happened last night comes later while i take a shower). headlining the news today is about an east england serial killer who has had 5 female victims, all allegedly prostitutes. nothing really original about that. hospitality girls have been, in fact, the favorite target of serial killers (i.e. yoo young-chul, george chapman, robert hansen, etc.), aside from children of course. as if work isn’t already tough enough, bawds still have to worry about all the Jack’s out there. serve sex for dinner then you end up serving your kidneys for dessert. please, give these hardworking ladies a break!

*****
by now, you probably have known that not all famous killers have second names. you probably also know that most of them end up eating their victims. no surprise there either. i mean, for someone who has strangling women with their bra or collecting eyeballs (like you collect marbles) listed as his favorite hobby, surprise-kill-and chew should come as a no brainer. what you probably don’t know, however, is that a number of these serial killers have ‘Nurse’ as their occupation. yes, there are a number of ‘angels of death’ out there (i.e. beverley allitt, richard angelo, kristen gilbert, etc.). man, as if staying in the hospital isn’t scary enough.

*****
feeding on the media frenzy is what keeps a serial killer’s appetite growing. never stopping until they get dubbed with a new name, their AKA’s. too bad if you get a generic alias like monster of ____, beast of ____, or vampire of ____. if you get something like cyber sex killer, brownout strangler, sydney mutilator, well..good enough. but if you get known as the gorilla man, the killer clown, the fairy liquidator, or the metal fang, that must be…nice.

a very long post

rob07 — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 22:00:37 +0000

First things first, for the past few days, I have been trying to figure out how to update this blog without you getting an email every time I do so. I’ve asked the expert and friendster about it but, excuse my ignorance if there is actually one, found no solution to this. Although, in your account, you can adjust the settings regarding notifications. I take no offense and sincerely hope you’ve figured that one out because, honestly, regardless of how much you love or loved your contacts, there comes a point when you couldn’t care less about your mate’s last lay, or their new gig, or her new hair color.

Second, Apocalypto is worth seeing regardless of how much you hate its ‘drunk driving, anti-semitic’ director. Knowing how one can easily dismiss this effort over the more poetic A New World (comparison might be pointless- try six degrees of kevin bacon between Malick and Gibson, I bet you lose.) this ruthless epic is as resounding as the sound of severed heads falling from the top of the towering Aztec pyramids. The Killing Fields-esque scene is only one of the few stomach churning moments of the movie. I guess a sequence that involves stumbling over a dead body…zoom out… I mean multitudes of decapitated bodies, never fails to deliver.

Third, don’t trust the second. I know nothing. I’m not a film student nor have I taken any film appreciation class. My own tomato-meter depends on how a film meets my time and money’s worth, which basically depend on how much slacking hours I have left and how close I saw the movie from allowance/pay day. Nonetheless, if you’ve been deprived of the cinema for the past 20 years, here’s my 20/20. These are the 20 movies made in the past 20 years that stood out for me and which I would have wanted to have created myself (in no particular order, well sort of).

(1) City of God (not mentioned first for nothing)
(2) Schindler’s List (whenever I wanted to cry, I go back to the final moments, the car scene… sniff)
(3) Se7en (Fincher’s finest, over (4) Fight Club (most watched movie of all time)
(5) Y tu mama tambien (politics and sex; check also Filipino movie Curacha: The Woman Without Rest)
(6) Good will Hunting (Elliot Smith, period.)
(7) LOTR: Two Towers (tops ROTK by a hair for that scene where Gandalf arrives at Helm’s Deep)
(8) Memento (everyone’s favorite mindfuck; runners up- Donnie Darko, Mulholland Drive)
(9) L.A. Confidential (for its intricate story telling; runner-up Usual Suspects)
(10) Requiem for a Dream (best downer ever)
(11) Pulp fiction (over other Tarantino’s and Stone’s Natural Born Killers)
(12) Trainspotting (choose life man!)
(13) Silence of the Lambs (arguably one of the best psych thriller ever made)
(14) Matrix (as what most will agree on, this movie transcended sci-fi to the next level)
(15) Gattaca (call me cheesy but this is a movie, aside from Contact, that every science teacher should require their students to watch. speaking of high school movies, go see Brick - wish i saw this in high school instead of that ‘Dead Poets Society’ crap.)
(16) The Criminal of Barrio Conception (easily my favorite filipino movie)
(17) Farewell my Concubine (one of asia’s finest but next only to (18) Akiro Kurusawa’s Dreams
(19) Closer (makes you want to be a chic; fyi august, this is way better than your Maid in Manhattan.lol.)
(20) The Descent (only beacuse i couldn’t stop asking people if they’ve seen it. intelligent horror is kinda rare; check also 28 days later.)